Showing Up Powerfully As You!

I remember being asked the question “who are you?” I scrambled for a long time looking for a response to that heavy question. It’s a powerful exercise that allows you to deal in the realm of reality or “what is“.
Attempting to define Authenticity for being authentic will place you in a tail spin. Why? There’s no set way of being. Creating a definition of Authenticity or being authentic, can only be done in that very moment of thought.

Let me elaborate…

The way we respond to that question depends on our belief system of how we found our way on this earth. From my Christian belief, my response is/was “I am a child of God“. As I give you this exercise to do… Remember that in the space of “what is“ it’s a non-variable. 

Mirror work…

Now before you say the words “I’ve done this before” hear me out.

I became an employee at 14 years old and For the next 30 years I work for somebody. Until February 2015 I made the decision to step away from a 9 to 5 job and become a full-time entrepreneur/business owner.

You may already know this, so bear with me for a moment. When you work for somebody for so long you create the habit of showing up to work and going through a checklist that someone else made for you. There’s nothing right or wrong about it we’re good or bad. It’s simply what most jobs entail. Fast forward to me being home by myself all day, I’m left in my own device. Well most people would think it’s a dream to not be told what to do, it can be actually a nightmare. 

For the first 6 to 9 months I floundering around attempting to get my bearings. Something I did not count on, were the voices. They were so loud! “Are you cut out for this“ “be smart enough“ “are you good enough“ “was your previous success, luck”

I was scrambling looking for my identity.

One day I was sitting at my desk staring at my computer screen, not getting anything done… And pretty much lost my shit. I threw my hands up in the air, said some choice words out loud, threw my chair back against the wall and walked away. I was angry, sad and mostly scared.

“What in the hell did I do to my family?! I can’t do this anymore“

Imagine for a moment, seeing me at 40 something years old having a temper tantrum in my house.

Then I walk past a mirror and saw myself. It’s quite humorous now looking back, However, not so much then. If you would’ve seen me, you may have wanted to have me committed. I remember looking right into the mirror into my own eyes and asking “what the F are you looking at”

That was followed by a back-and-forth rant between the person standing in front of mirror and the person staring back at me.

Oh yeah, I know… It’s a little crazy, right? Well I’m grateful for that moment because it led me to one of the biggest breakthroughs of my life.

It was that day that I step back and saw myself for who I truly am, My Authentic Self. 

“I’m Steve M-F’n Krivda! I’m a child of God and I impact impactors”

Deep down in your core, you know you have purpose! Deep down you know there is “more“ that you’re capable of doing.

Why aren’t you doing it?

The story above shows how we create an identity that’s not really who we are. In coaching terms we call it “wearing the mask“. In some cases there are several masks we wear. A mask for each friend we hang out with, each family member that we are surrounded by, each board room we stand in front of, each social media outlet that we show up on, etc...

Though it feels like an appears as though we are showing apparently for the people in our lives… We’re actually sitting in a place of imposter.

Will cover imposter syndrome on a different chapter. However, when you’re a different person to different people it’s too difficult to keep track of who you are.

Being authentic means that you show up exactly how you are at that moment. If you’re not in a great mood then you’re not in a great mood. If you’re happy and joyous, then you’re happy and joyous. The issue is, we attempt to hide who we are in the moment to appease the people around us. Avoiding looking bad, Being judged and sitting in a place of wrong.

Imagine for a moment that when you had a bad day, you simply let the person in front of you know “I haven’t had the best day today, if you could allow me some grace I would be grateful“

Anything in that arena to help someone understand where you are. This comes from a space of vulnerability.

Being open, honest and vulnerable for who you are in the moment is the most powerful way of showing up. It’s in the upmost of authenticity. 

By being this way, you create a vacuum for others to also to do the same.

The “incident“ that I spoke of from 2015 help me create a very powerful and simplistic exercise.

This can take as little as five minutes or as long as it takes. 

Find a mirror somewhere in your house where you are going to be uninterrupted. I recommend a bathroom vanity mirror. 

Let whoever is home to give you your uninterrupted time for this exercise. 

Bring a journal to document what comes up for you. 

Lean on your vanity get anywhere from 12 to 18 inches away from your mirror, look yourself in the eyes and ask the following question

“Who am I”

Be warned. It’s common to go right into who we are not. Avoid this. 

For some define resistance and making contact with themselves. For others it can create quite a bit of emotion.

Allow the onion to peel itself and feel those positive qualities, that God has instilled in you come to the surface.